She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
