id be glad to
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
