I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
