she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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