Nicole vs. Life
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
