It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
