bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
