he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
