I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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