You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
