yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
