they need to just BURY HIM!
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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