i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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