Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
