Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
