Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
