How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
