Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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