Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
