2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
