SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
they're like a gay fantastic four
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
