Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
