Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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