But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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