i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
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When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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