i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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