He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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