haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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