After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
