The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
