i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
