Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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