ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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