Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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