Me too!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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