farters have to be the big spoon...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
