come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I want her autograph on my taint
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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