I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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