just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
