I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize