i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
