It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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