just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
