There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize