Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
