She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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