Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
