You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
