and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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