Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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