Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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