Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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