So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
