i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
