i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
40s are totally the cure
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
