Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
