You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Randomize
