So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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