Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
