I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
