I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
