But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
