he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
