she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
