OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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